Happy Birthday for A Friend

To clarify, yes, I have friends. They just live in... Canada.

Anyways, a friend of mine (for the sake of privacy let's call him Fuckass) has a birthday today. Now, there's not a lot of reasons for Fuckass to live: He's ugly as a boot, smart as a camel, and as compassionate as Mussolini. However, what he lacks in those areas, he more than makes up for them in his artistic ability. That man is to drawing what I am to writing - A prodigy. I think the term in his case is Idiot-Savant. He is seriously one of the most talented people I've ever met - And I've met myself. For some reason Fuckass insists on drawing cars, which I guess means he's an Autosexual. WARNING: DO NOT FOLLOW THAT LINK. IT'S A MEDIOCRE PUN AND NOT WORTH THERAPY. IT WILL DAMAGE YOUR PSYCHE BEYOND REPAIR. JUST BECAUSE IT'S WIKIPEDIA DOESN'T MEANS IT'S SFW.

Anyways, Fuckass is also a pretty nice guy. Hey, I heard the people Mussolini ordered to be killed said he was nice about it. Only problem is that he is way too positive. He laughs at 85% of my jokes, which is bad for me, since I really don't need any encouragement. Even if the guy is a Neo-Nazi (saying that Homosexuality is a disease, using Nazi terminology and overall being a fascist), he still hasn't killed any Untermensch yet. Sure, none of that may be strictly true and I might have elaborated on and twisted his words, but my point remains. Swell guy who utterly hates any game not involving driving. Even in GTA IV he only drives, I don't think he's killed a single person in that game.


So, there's only one person reading this blog who does not know Fuckass, so I urge Capricia13/Susan to give Fuckass your birthday greeting.