Japan Knows How To Treat Women

I, like all men, believe women to be completely inferior to men. I'm not going to use a "No True Scotsman" fallacy in this case, as it is obvious that any man who does not believe that women are on the same level as dogs are obviously lying. Women being a parasite on civilisation is obvious from Historical evidence (Yeah, way to invent the Theory of Relativity and build the Great Wall... Oh, that's right) and the Bible (King James' Version, Genesis 3:16 "...thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The Bible also says that Eagles are an abomination, which is why I hate America.) Now, I believe that the only solution to women is a stinging backhand, and unfortunately I was not able to indulge this in video game form.

Until Now!

Finally all woman and child abusers can hone their technique in this delightful game. You can slap them, take off their clothes, throw soccer balls at them and spray what I hope is water on them - Just like you would in real life. Now, I believe that this game is a great thing - After all, if any culture begins to project oppression as entertainment and in positive light, it will become more common until finally it becomes socially acceptable to abuse women. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Truly the makers of this video-game believe that women are nothing but things meant to entertain men, by way of sex, cooking and the occasional beating, like they should.

Sure, the Feminist Movement of the 70's set Man back by a couple of decades by deluding these poor creatures into believing they are human, but Japan's got our back! They already have pedophilia culturally accepted (Their idea of beauty is heavily focused on naivety and being youthful and childish, and they sell used panties of school-girls in vending machines. Plus, check out how many school-girls wearing miniskirts appear in Manga and Anime) so abuse is naturally next. One thing worries me about Love Death 2: Fun Time - The torture is entirely physical. Sure, crippling a woman's legs is all well and good, but it's nothing compared to destroying their self-esteem and making them believe they earned it. What kind of game wont let call women whores? Thankfully I believe this will be rectified in later version, along with the ability to rape ... Oh, what's that? The game already has a "monster in the pants" "weapon" you use "while they're down and can't fight back"... Well, I guess this has all the makings of Game of The Year. ¨

I can't wait till they bring in the DLC, probably involving forbidding them from even talking to other men, stalking them and watching them sleep, constantly reminding the women that you want to kill them and telling her that you are doing it because you love her and having "the skin of a killer". I'm sure nothing like that would ever exist in our society or even be popular, but I can dream, can't I? Like Martin Luther King Jr., I have a dream: A society in which women are slaves to men, with no right to think for themselves, just supplies of sex for men. A world without pain, suffering or belittlement to men (something all women do to men, I read it from "Roissy in DC") and all the negative things in the world are rightfully blamed on women.

Yes, I realise half(2) of my readers(4 in total) are women.

Oh Fuck This

Motherfuckers. WHAT DID I SAY ON SUNDAY? NO! MORE! SHALLOW! GODDAMN! PARODIES!

No, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck you, Hollywood. Straight up the ass.

The Popularity of Horrible Parodies

Quite some time ago, I learned that people are, by nature, fucking retarded. Case in point, the popularity of *Vague Genre* Movies, made by Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, like Epic Movie or Date Movie. These movies are to cinema what tumors are to the brain. If you haven't seen any of them, here's a recap of every single one of them:

JASON: Hey, remember *insert character from a recent movie*?

AARON: Yes.

JASON: Wouldn't it be funny if they smoked weed/had sex/killed someone/were illiterate?

AARON: Hahahahhahahahahahhahahahah. Yes.

STUDIO EXECUTIVES: Here you go, have 20 Million.

These movies somehow defy all genres and create a new one: The Reference Movie. These movies are not comedies: I dare you to find a single joke. The movies rely entirely on reminding people of better, actually good movies made in the same year. Let's take Epic Movie as an example. It reportedly parodies "Epic" movies. Now, far be it from me to suggest these people don't know what an epic film actually is, but it's still interesting that they fail to feature a single epic. Instead of Titanic, Passion of the Christ or hell, Saving Private Ryan, the movie parodies The Chronicles of Narnia (Fantasy), Pirates of the Caribbean (Action) and the DaVinci Code (Drama/Thriller/Piece of Bullshit). The only thing connecting these movies together is the fact that they were made in the same year. Seltzburger (a portmanteau of their last names) seem to follow the Christian tradition of Satan: He cannot create, he can only corrupt. Indeed, these movies are nothing but corruptions of their original. The definition of parody, something those two should probably look up in between having more money and sex then I do, is the following:

A parody (pronounced /ˈpærədiː/; also called send-up or spoof), in contemporary usage, is a work created to mock, comment on, or poke fun at an original work.

Now, the movies don't really comment on, mock or poke fun at the movies as much as have pirates rap, laugh at midgets and have the main characters learn archery and swordsmanship from Harry Potter and Co. I might be an elitist bastard, but last time I checked, none of the characters in Harry Potter sword fight or use a bow. Maybe I "just don't get it" or am "jealous that I'm not that rich" or the old classic, that I "can't criticize unless I've made that much money".

My real gripe is not that the movies prove how buttfuck retarded our species is, but the fact that more and more people are making these movies. Let's have a look at the trailer to the upcoming movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It.






This movie is, obviously, a parody of The 40 Year Old Virgin. These people are under the mistaken conclusion that parodying a comedy will make your movie double funny, instead of make you look retarded. People have been parodying I'm On a Boat, a song that's already a parody for years, so it's not like this is a new thing. It's just really, really sad that people can actually get millions of dollars to make this kind of piece of shit. The jokes are so lowest-common-denominator that it makes me want to jam a screwdriver in my eyes. And the worst part is knowing that this movie will be popular. People will go see it, and they will laugh, and the douchebags who made this movie will make more movies, inspiring more and more people to make shallow parodies until comedy implodes on it self and doesn't exist anymore.

And I blame you. All of you, who have ever seen one of these movies. You brought forth the apocalypse. You have killed the genre of comedy, and replaced it with a child so retarded it does not know how to breathe. You are monsters, and you disgust me more than all the Japanese Units in China of WWII.